Superman, Superman, I Wish I Could Fly Like Superman

Have you noticed that songs you listened to as a kid seem some much different as you age?  Not long ago I was listening to the radio when "Superman" began to play. 

I was fascinated by how well the lyrics captured the essence of being a man in middle age.  Let me excerpt some lyrics below . . .

I looked in the mirror and what did I see, a nine stone weakling with knobbly knees.  .  . I looked in the mirror at my pigeon chest I had to put on my clothes because it made me depressed. .  .

Woke up this morning and what did I see, a big black cloud hanging over me I switched on the radio and nearly dropped dead the news was so bad that I fell out of bed there was a gas strike, oil strike, lorry strike, bread strike got to be a superman to survive.  gas bills, rent bills, tax bills, phone bills, I'm such a wreck but I'm staying alive.  .  .

I'd really like to change the world and save it from the mess its in I'm too weak I'm so thin I'd like to fly but I can't even swim.  .  .  Superman, Superman, I want to fly like Superman.  Superman, Superman wish I could fly like Superman

 
  Deep within the souls of most men resides the desire for significance.  We want to be important, to be somebody, to make a difference, be a mover and a shaker, to be a hero.  Yet we are constantly accosted by the reality of our insignificance.  We put on a "tough" front, a "sophisticated" front.  We are diligent in our efforts to present to the world an exterior that says" hey, I've got it all together."  Yet for many men, their deepest fear is that they will be exposed and found to be a fraud.  That the world will see that we are not exactly what we purport to be.  That it will be revealed to everyone that we are really just a nine stone weakling with knobbly knees.

So we have a choice to make.  We can go one of two directions.  We can continue down a path that seeks its answers in more education, achievements, promotions, hoping that the plaudits of those around us will enure to the benefit of our inner soul.  Or we can seek our answer in the one who created us, the one who knows us best.

Deep down most of us know that the answer does not reside in more "effort" on our part.  By the time we reach middle age we are starting to realize that another self help book, or more discipline or an additional degree or a  promotion, or another award will not fulfill the need that resides deep within us.  Sure, reading, discipline and degrees can be good things, but they are not the ultimate answer in and of themselves.

How then does one find ultimate significance? The Lord spoke to the prophet Jeremiah, saying:  "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;"  Really?  The God of the universe has us in mind before our conception even takes place?  And he even has our mission set out for us before we even exist?  We are that significant to God?

When the Apostle Paul wrote the Church of Ephesus regarding their identity in Christ he reminded them that their lives also had purpose! "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  We see the same theme repeated here again!  Not only has God created us, but he has significant work for us to do!

But what about our fear of being found out, that others will discover that we are indeed a nine stone weakling who is overwhelmed by the challenges that surround us everyday?  St. Paul encouraged the church in Corinth, reminding them that "we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God, and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."  Here we have our substantial answer.  It is in our weakness that God's glory and strength is seen most profoundly.  We have been created by him for meaningful purpose and significant work in his kingdom.  Yet, we can only accomplish this work and fulfill our ultimate purpose through his power and strength.  When we stop relying on our selves, our efforts, our knowledge and instead commit ourselves to the will, the way and the wonder of him who created us, we will indeed find that we can fly like Superman!

Thought for Today

It is so easy to be seduced by the good to the neglect of the best, until both the good and the best perish
-E.M. Bounds

What do you think?

Should children see their father cry?
	Yes, always!
	No way, never!
	Yes, but only at funerals!
	Yes, but please don't overdo it!
	Yes, but only when it is really important.
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Vintage? Or Just Old?

I've been feeling a bit old lately.  It's good that our kids are young, otherwise I fear I would descend this slippery slope with great rapidity.  On occasion I find myself telling stories of yesteryear and realize that my audience is looking at me like I am from another planet.  I mean really, 8-tracks were cool, its not like they were wax records or something!  I admit that I was somewhat proud of my ability to keep those old tapes working with a little TLC, some Vaseline and an old matchbook.  And hey, there is even a National 8 Track Day, although I am two days behind on that already.  Must be my age.

There are lots of reasons I have been in a vintage state of mind, but sometimes all it takes is just a picture.  Yesterday it was this 1966 Plymouth Hemi Satellite which is going on the auction block soon.  Of course, once one begins to imbibe the wine of nostalgia, it is difficult to set the glass down.  Finding myself in that heady state of nostalgic intoxication, it was only natural that I would find myself thinking of the B-52's. . . . "She drove a Plymouth Satellite, faster than the speed of light. . . "  Ah, those wild and wacky college days, slam dancing and acting like a complete idiot.  Hmmm, fun to remember, but maybe my current reality isn't so bad after all.

So that got me to thinking, what about my kids?  What will they be like in college?  Will they be wild and wacky? There have been a few signs along the way that have led me to be a bit concerned.

First there was this

And then came this

Soon the "Gothic" Jesus followed.

And now he has started "playing the drums."

Since he was "singing" about Clifford the big red dog there may be a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  Let's hope it doesn't turn out to be Crazy Train.

A Kateism

"Momma, you smell like a rose and daddy, you are handsome like a dinosaur." 

Now exactly how am I supposed to take that?

Is That Normal?

"Is that normal?" This is a question that my bride often asks about our son. Yes, I reassure her, that strange behavior is considered normal in boy-boy world. I'm not sure she really believes me, given that the world the male species inhabits seems a strange and incomprehensible one to her.

I recently read a great book on the topic of helping boys find their way in life. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, teacher, mentor or friend, if you are in a position to have an impact on a boy between 1 and 25 years of age, I would strongly recommend your read "Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys." The authors (James and Thomas) who wrote this book have sons of their own and work as therapist with boys and young men. While they do discuss how biology effects behavior, this is more for background purposes. The authors break down the life of a boy into stages and then address what "normal" behavior is in this stage. They start with "who he is" in each stage, then move to "what he needs" and finish with "putting the principles into practice". The latter two sections focus on how we can help boys navigate these different stages in their lives appropriately and grow into healthy men.

If you have boys, put this one on the top of your list!

Prisoners of Our Own Paradigm

Warning: this topic is likely to be considered ad nauseam over the coming weeks/months.

I have been pondering at length what good parenting should entail, specifically the role I play as father to my children. The greatest difficulty that I face is that I am a prisoner of my own paradigm. I just don't know what I don't know ! My understanding of life and of parenting has been subconsciously shaped by my experiences. Although I have watched others parent from a distance, my primary experience of parenting comes from my own experience of being a child. This would be true for the vast majority of us, which is why we laugh at times and comment on how we are acting just like our parents did! Hence, my view of fatherhood has been shaped by how my father played his role as a father, and his by his father on and on into an infinite regress of sorts!

But no father is perfect, certainly not me! And (sorry Dad if you read this post) my father wasn't perfect either. But how does one do things differently? When confronted with circumstances or challenges, our minds rifle through our experience/knowledge database looking for ideas and we then select what is perceived to be the most appropriate option. However, there is often a plethora of alternative possibilities that we never consider because they are not part of our knowledge base. Again, we are stuck in our own paradigm. Yet all is not lost! Paradigms can change, but that often entails a fair amount of angst, agony and aspiration. Stay tuned!

The Purpose of Power

Have you ever had the experience where you are reading something for the umpteenth time and you are arrested by a thought or concept that never occurred to you in all of the previous readings? I had that experience (again) this week. I was reading the book of John when I came across this:

It was just before the Passover Festival. Jesus knew that the hour had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. The evening meal was in progress, and the devil had already prompted Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

Typically when I read chapter 13 I am focused on the events that are beginning to unfold and what will happen in the hours ahead. And while I recognize the servant leadership theme here, the why of it never really hit me until Monday morning. I was particularly struck by the fact that "the Father had put all things under his power" and his response was to stop what he was doing (eating) and take on the role relegated to servants (foot washing).

I then began to reflect: how do I handle power? While the Father has not placed all things under my power, he has placed some things there. What is my response to that? When I am interacting with my children, my wife, my co-workers and church members, do I hold my little piece of power over them? Do I demand that others suffer inconvenience in order to fulfill my desires and dreams? Or do I willingly inconvenience myself in order to better the lives of others?

Jesus knew who he was, he knew what he was about, he knew where he was headed and he knew what his purpose was. Because of what he knew, he was freed to serve. Can I say the same?

Does God Peek While We Are Asleep?

I confess, I peak into my children's rooms every night just to get one more look. Right before I climb into bed I sneak in their rooms and gaze at them resting quietly in the glow of their respective nightlights. This always fills my heart with happiness and joy regardless of what transpired during the day. All of this got me to thinking. Does God "sneak" into my room at night just to get one more look? Does he love me so much that he wants just a little more of me? Is his heart filled with joy and happiness when he looks at me?

While He was on earth, Jesus often illustrated His points with illustrations that argued from the lessor to the greater. For instance in Luke 11:11-13 he says:

"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

One of the fascinating things about fatherhood is how it re-shapes my perspective on God. It is hard to believe that God would love me so much that he would "sneak into my room" to have just a little more time with me. Yet if I, an earthly father, love my children that much, how much more does our heavenly Father love his children? Children can sense extravagant love and they gravitate to it. Do we really sense his extravagant love? Are we irresistibly drawn into his presence?

A child's perspective on death and heaven

Kate has become a prolific letter writer. I suppose this comes with her new found ability to read and write.

Today I told her I was saving this letter and she asked what would happen to it after I died ( I have no plans for this in the near future, mind you). I replied, "I suppose it will go to you, Kate." She quickly responded, "Maybe if there are markers, cutting paper and scissors in heaven, I can make you another one."

That sounds like heaven to me!

Wonders and Mysteries

I took the kids hiking at the local nature center yesterday.

Clear at the back we saw some really cool trees. I stopped to take a picture of one with my phone.

As I stuck the phone back in the holster it began to play a song. I have no idea how this happened, it has never happened before. Even crazier, it was playing "God of Wonders" by Third Day. It couldn't have been more perfect. Way in the back of the nature center, just me and the kids, awed by God's creation and now God is playing a song for us. Amazing.

So we sat down on the boardwalk together, listened to the music and talked about the awesome God who made us, the animals, plants and trees.

Deuteronomy 6:4-6 says:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Just trying to walk the walk and talk the talk one day at a time.